The WABAC Machine deposits John and El'Ahrai at the Ministry of Truth this week, for 1984 is the topic!  Slide down the memory hole to recall such gems as "Conan the Destroyer" and "Bachelor Party".  Plus!  Reviews of "This Means War" and "Beneath the Darkness"!  However, there might be a slight inconvenience as you will be riding on a cargo plane full of live poultry.

A great screenplay is like a great song.  If the original material is good enough, it can stand up to any number of wild attempts at remakes and reinterpretations.  This week, El'Ahrai and John give you their Top Five Movies That Would Make Great Staged Readings.  ("Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" BEGS for this treatment.)  But wait, there's more!  We also have an exclusive interview with actor Crispin Glover!  Plus!  Reviews of "Safe House" and "Father's Day"!  Morton, the Lindas want you to open this door.

Here is the entirety of our interview with Crispin Glover!  Start over?  I'm almost done!

Teacups?  Flying elephants?  Enchanted castles?  Amateur stuff.  This week, John and El'Ahrai give you their Top 5 Movies That Would Make Great Theme Park Attractions!  (Here's hoping for "The Tree of Life Land".)  Plus!  Reviews of "Chronicle" and "Nude Nuns With Big Guns"!  I bought the airline.  It seemed neater.

Though they lobby with all of their might, El'Ahrai and John still have yet to be admitted to the Academy, and as such, their wise voices go unheard around nomination time.  As a result of this slight, this week's show is their Top Five Nominations The Academy Got Wrong...This Time.  Plus!  Reviews of "The Grey" and "Metal Shifters"!  You had your whole life to prepare for this moment. Why aren't you ready?